Romantic relationships can be tricky to navigate.
When feelings are involved, it can be easy to turn a blind eye to things that may not be good for you.
I’ve been in a few relationships like that myself and I know what it’s like to feel stuck. You fear getting out because of the unknown. The future.
What if this is as good as it gets? What if I never find anyone else? What if things don’t get better?
So instead, you settle. Let me tell you, that’s one of the worst things you can do.
My hope is to give you the tools you need to get out of your bad relationship.
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1. Pray about it
It’s hard to know for sure what your first step should be. That’s why praying is the first step.
Ask God for guidance on what you should do. Ask him to direct your steps.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you” Matthew 7:7 NIV
This doesn’t mean God is a genie. This verse is intended to give us confidence in His provision. He provides our needs if we ask and have faith.
So, pray about it and see what direction he leads you to go in.
*Disclaimer: I don’t condone abusive relationships. If you’re in an abusive relationship, get out as soon as you can.
2. Commit to your decision
Once you’ve decided, commit to your decision. This can be hard, especially when feelings are involved. But unless you commit, it’s very possible you might end up going back on the decision you’ve made.
Some ideas to help you commit:
- Write it down: Experts say you’re more likely to commit to something if you put it in writing. Look at this note as a reminder.
- Record yourself: Use the present tense when you record yourself as if it’s already happened and attach an emotion to the statement. (e.g. I have left an unhealthy relationship and I feel happier now). Imagine life without this person and attach positive emotions to it. Listen to this recording daily.
3. Find support
It’s going to be hard to go through a break-up by yourself. Do you have support around you? Family or friends?
If you don’t have a support system, it will be more difficult. Reach out to someone you know and see if they’re willing to support you.
Some ideas to find support:
- Reach out to your church: The church is there to help you. Let them know what’s going on.
- Find a good counselor: If you need a resource, I’ve used BetterHelp — it’s affordable and helpful.
4. Make an exit plan
Start thinking about how you will break-up with this person. What will you say and how will you leave?
If you live with the person, it makes it so much harder to figure this step out.
Something you’ll have to think about is where you’re going to live. Is there a friend or family member you can stay with while you’re going through this tough patch in your life?
If there isn’t, reach out to a local church to see if they can give you resources or help you further. I can’t speak for all churches, but most of the time, they’re more than happy to help you out. (I’ve gotten assistance from churches a few times).
I know it’s hard to get out when you feel stuck in a relationship. I hope I’ve been able to give you even the smallest bit of hope that you can do this. As always, I wish you the best! 🙂
- Pray about it
- Commit to your decision
- Find support
- Make an exit plan
My sister is having this problem right now. You are right- having a good solid exit plan is so much harder when you live with them. She is working through it though.
I’m sorry to hear that about your sister and I’m glad to hear she’s working on it. I hope she’s safe <3