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As I was considering the title and outline of this post, I laughed a little. We often act like singleness is a plague (I’ve been guilty of this).
I don’t want to take away from the difficulty of singleness. Singleness can be hard, but it can also be a season filled with the best times of your life. Honestly, it depends on your perspective and outlook on singleness.
Will you make the most of your time during singleness? Or will you simply *wait* until the better part of your life comes? (Marriage isn’t better by the way, it’s just a different season of life).
What does the Bible say about singleness?
Here’s what the Bible says about singleness:
1 Corinthians 7:7-9 – “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion,” (ESV).
According to this passage, Paul tells us that singleness has its advantages. In fact, he calls singleness a gift. However, if someone isn’t able to stay single and stay celibate, it’s better for them to get married.
Genesis 2:18 – “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him,” (ESV).
This happens before the fall in Genesis 3. This means marriage isn’t something that God made up after the fall because of our sinfulness. On the contrary, God acknowledged it wasn’t good for us to be alone. We were made to be in community. This doesn’t necessarily mean we will all get married though.
The Purpose of Singleness
It would be cool to be born married, but that’s just not how things work. Singleness has a purpose in our lives. A good purpose.
So, what’s the purpose of singleness?
Well, singleness allows you to focus on God. Instead of partly being focused on your spouse, you’re fully focused on serving and loving God.
Singleness is the best time to draw closer to God, learn more about Him, and be made more like Him.
It’s also a good time to work through your baggage. People think their issues will disappear when they get into a relationship. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. Your problems will still be there. If you feel lonely and unsatisfied with life, you will feel lonely and unsatisfied with life in that relationship too. You don’t wanna bring that type of negative energy into a relationship. You want to be your best self for that other person.
The Benefits of Being Single
With that being said, there are benefits to being single! I promise singleness isn’t a curse. On the contrary, it’s a blessing.
Here are 3 benefits to being single.
You have time to know and serve God.
When you’re single, you have more time to develop a closer relationship with God and serve him. You shouldn’t be staying stagnant in your relationship with God – it should be growing.
As a new believer, you start with the basics. After a while, you should be moving on to more spiritually mature things. The Bible uses this metaphor to explain this concept:
“For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil,” (Hebrews 5:12-14 ESV).
Don’t feel bad if you’re a new believer. We all start somewhere. I definitely didn’t know as much as I do now when I was new to the faith. However, you want to make sure you’re not being complacent or stagnant. Always seek to grow!
You have time to work on yourself and crucify your fleshly desires.
When you’re single, you have time to work on yourself and crucify your fleshly desires. Examine yourself and make a list of things you’d like to change or work on within yourself.
Here’s an example. Many of us are selfish rather than selfless. A way to combat selfishness is by serving at church. This will help you become selfless and think of others more than yourself.
This would be difficult to work on if you were in a relationship. When you’re in a relationship, you’re more focused on pleasing your partner. It’s harder to be focused on working on yourself.
You have the freedom to do what you want.
Finally, when you’re single, you have the freedom to do what you want. Let me be honest. This could be a disadvantage rather than a benefit. It depends on what you do with your freedom.
If you use your freedom to be more selfish, that’s not a good thing. The Bible tells us, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God,” (1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV). We should be using our free time to do things that glorify God.
When you’re married, you don’t have as much time to do what you want. You have to think about your husband and/or kids.
Singleness is a gift from God
I know this is hard to believe at times, but singleness isn’t a curse, it’s a gift from God. It’s a time to focus on God, serve him and others, and work on yourself.
There’s a time for everything. Accept your current state of life and make the most of it. I’ll end with this passage in Ecclesiastes.
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace,” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 NIV).